In the space of one week, I never had to worry about what to eat for dinner, what to eat for lunch. You cleaned the bathroom on the day I was supposed to do it, and even did the laundry that I was meant to do. You did pretty much everything that should've been done by me. All because I had to study.
I keep on relying on you when you're there, and my excuses always revolve around the fact that I'm studying. But somehow, despite studying, I still have the nerve to procrastinate. Sometimes, I feel an immeasurable sense of sadness at my own inability. I can't get the academic results that I ideally want, and I can't even try to calm your fears regarding how I'm just going to live my entire life all alone.
One week was all it took for me to realize that actually, I wasn't really doing okay. I missed you. A lot.
You're right that people should pretend to act weak but actually be strong on the inside, but I think for me, it's the reverse. I try to convince myself and everyone else that I'll be okay, but inside, I'm still that little girl.
During the past few hours, I've tried to change. I shouldn't just sit there and cry about how I miss you. Missing you means that I treasure you, and I should feel happy that there's somebody I treasure so much to cry over after they leave.
Instead of crying, I want to feel happy and grateful to have been able to experience such warmth. I'll keep this feeling inside me, and use it as my source of strength. This is how I want to feel.
.....Have I grown up? Even if it's just a little bit, am I getting stronger?